There she was, Staring out her window. Motionless. Her hands resting ghost like in her lap. I sat staring at her, scared. What will become of me when I grow old? How sad I will be. How alone I would feel. What a burden I will appear to my family. I will end it, before I become rotten. But then, I saw her lip twitch. I watched closely and was sure I saw a smile. What could she possibly be smiling at?
There she was staring at me. Motionless. Her hands nervously fiddling with her skirt. I could feel her fear. Her fear of growing old. How sad she must think I am. How alone she must think I feel. How useless I must feel. Why don’t I just die? I stare out into the beautiful landscape ahead of me. And I remember.
Then I saw it all. Her first kiss. Her best friend. Her graduation. Her puffing on a cigarette Her sitting at a funeral. Her in a bridesmaid’s gown. Her running down a beach with the warm sand between her toes. Her first car. Their first house. Her pushing a pram.
Can’t you see child? I have lived. Sometimes, when I was sad, I cried. Other times, I laughed to hide the pain, whether it was mine or someone else's. And when I was happy, I laughed from my gut. I blushed when I was embarrassed. I hated when I or someone I loved was hurt And I forgave with difficulty, But remembering that it was this forgiveness that set me free. I loved with all my heart, But only after I broke down the wall protecting it from love’s beauty.
She was beautiful. Suddenly I saw that every wrinkle on her face was a past emotion. Every vein was her soul’s journey Every scar was her pain And the lines around her eyes and mouth were her happiness
I am beautiful because I have lived
She is beautiful because she has lived